What Could've Been, What Never Was
by Ensuing
Summary: So there he stood, reliving the past, rechoosing his own destiny. Dark Advanceshipping. One-shot. Rated T for character death. First fic, constructive critisicm welcome! R&R!


Ash stood near the peak of Mt. Silver. Icy winds howled and snow fell, but the young trainer felt none of it. In weather the normal person would've had to wear at least 3 heavy parkas, Ash stood in an old black T-shirt with a faded yellow stripe across the front and dull white sleeves, blue jeans, and his signature hat. Time had worn his clothes down, and it was a wonder his hat stayed on his head with the wind gusting like it did. The average person would've been frozen to death, but Ash was used to the cold. He had trained on Mt. Silver for years with his now tough as nails team of Pokémon; they were all immune to the cold and were made up of the most trusted Pokémon from the ranch.

There was Pikachu, his best buddy and his most powerful. He had sworn to stick by Ash through thick and thin, even when Ash sank into seclusion on the lonely peak of Mt. Silver. His electric attacks were strong enough to kill a man, and he was so fast he was a blur to the human eye.

There was Venusaur, who traveled with him throughout Kanto and Johto. He had finally evolved in a near death battle on Mt. Silver: first into Ivysaur, and then finally Venusaur as he evolved twice to crush the wild Tyranitar that so dared to challenge him. His frequent exposure to the cold made him an easy target at first, but the years he spent in the cold made him all but immune to Ice type attacks.

There was Blastoise, the used to be fire fighter. After a fire tragically killed the rest of his squad mates, he took off to travel with Ash, the only person he had left to live for. His evolution was slower than Venusaur's, but he wasn't any less tough. His shell was as hard as the rock covering the mountain he so currently resided on, and the low temperatures let him shoot liquid ice from his cannons. He was an opponent to be feared; and rightly he was.

There was Charizard; the powerful dragon that travelled with Ash throughout Kanto and Johto. He may not have trusted Ash to know what to do with all of the power he obtained when he evolved, but he definitely did not doubt him now. Charizard's flames were hotter than hell, melting the snow and ice instantly and could fry any living thing into a delicious, medium rare hunk of meat. Ash had proven himself to Charizard; now it was his turn.

There was Pidgeot; Ash had come to collect him just before he left for Mt. Silver. The cold toughened him up; like Venusaur, Ice attacks did next to nothing on him and at the speed he was moving, a clip from his wings could kill. He had trusted Ash to return, and he almost lost his trust; but Ash came through in the end. He was determined as ever to return that trust.

His last and final Pokémon was Donphan. The lone Pokémon from the Hoenn region. The lone one from the region _she _had come from. That aside, Donphan was just as strong as the others; his rollout could flatten anything in his path. It hurt Ash whenever he looked at Donphan because of the memories of her, but he couldn't hate Donphan for it. It had been his fault, not Donphan's. So why blame him?

It was his fault for getting so far ahead of himself. He had really thought they had something, after the numerous times he had saved her, reassured her, and comforted her. There had been that time in the forbidden land of the Grass Pokémon where she had taken his hand, and the many times she hugged him after a loss, crying into his shoulder. There was the time on the island of the Donphan, and also the ribbon they had split at the Terracotta contest. He always kept the ribbon close to his heart, wondering, hoping, wanting.

But no.

He had asked her whether she wanted to travel with him through Sinnoh, but she had decided to travel in Johto alone; No, with Drew. _She always liked him more than you,_ the nagging voice in his head always told him. _No, _he would think. _She'll come around, you'll see!_

But she never did.

Even when she came to Sinnoh, Ash was so excited to see her again. But all she talked about was Drew, Drew, Drew. He had to admit it was nice seeing her again, but in reality the visit caused more hurt than comfort.

That's when he decided to run away.

After Sinnoh, he took his most trusted Pokémon with him and fled to the most secluded place he could think of: Mt. Silver. He nearly died the first night, but the experience just made him tougher. He battled the wild Pokémon relentlessly, always seeking to improve. He didn't have anything else to live for, did he?

Eventually, after many hard, lonely years of solitude, he had to admit he was peaked in power. The wild Pokémon no longer proved a challenge, and were easy prey for his abnormally large, stronger team.

So there he stood, reliving the past, rechoosing his own destiny. But when the fairy tale was over, he found himself in the present, alone and friendless.

Soon, the odd trainer started braving the horrors and hardships of Mt. Silver, and he finally had some competition.

Or so he thought.

He easily defeated all that came to challenge him; he became a legend. "If you thought your team was tough," it was said, "if you climb to the peak of Mt. Silver, you'll face a trainer unlike any other."

Many took the saying up on the challenge, and returned down cold, hungry, sick, tired, and defeated. Some didn't even make it to him, instead choosing to turn back; if they couldn't survive halfway up the mountain, who could survive at the peak?

Ash was getting tired of not having a challenge. He also tired of the pain. And he wanted to end it.

_If I get defeated, I'll end it all. I don't want to suffer like this anymore, _he thought.

And today, his wish would be granted.

A trainer had climbed up, bravely battling through the cold and wild Pokémon alike. Ash thought he would be the same as before; they would childishly challenge him to a battle, claim they would win, and lose all 6 of their Pokémon before he even got warmed up.

Not today.

The trainer challenged Ash, just like everyone else. He couldn't catch his name though; who could in the howling winds? But that was where it all changed.

The trainer proved he was different than others in his battling; he had an original style unlike any other. Ash saw a bit of himself in him, as the trainer was just as optimistic and unorthodox as Ash had been before he ran away from all of his problems, cowering atop the highest, harshest place in the Pokémon world.

Ash battled his hardest, but his mind was elsewhere. Each battled bravely, but soon enough, it was a one on one battle. He and his trainer matched each other move for move; counter for counter, attack for attack. If Pikachu went down, Ash would lose.

No one really knows what was running through Ash's mind that day, but some speculate he was tired of it all; tired of the pain, tired of the loneliness, tired of the cold. He could've had his old life back in a heartbeat, as his friends were all heartbroken when he had left. His mother was a shadow of the woman she used to be; she spent more time at the lab with Oak than she did at home because it reminded her too much of her son. She wished everyday her son would come back, and on a few days she was close to having that wish fulfilled. All of his friends would've been overjoyed to have him back, especially May. But Ash had concluded that his friends had all forgotten him and moved on with their happy lives, and that even his mother was happier without him being a burden to her.

He could've been the smartest man in the world, but no matter what he could've been, or was, he was wrong.

All of his friends missed him. Every single one of them took a break from whatever they were doing, whether it was contests, gym battles or flirting with every Nurse Joy that ever lived, to search for him. They scoured all over Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh.

But they never thought of Mt. Silver.

No one could live up there, they argued. And even if someone did, they would've died their first night there. Clearly, they underestimated Ash, but everyone had at some point or another in their life. What was so different about now?

So they gave up the search. They tried as best as they could, to get back to their normal lives, and live happily, for Ash. Everything they did, whether it was a contest or gym battle, was "for Ash." This motivation made them very successful, but in the papers Ash had Pidgeot grab from neighboring towns, they looked like they were doing better than ever. He was holding them back, he reasoned. So he decided to stay atop Mt. Silver forever, believing it would've been better if he had never existed. He couldn't bring himself to kill himself though, so he left himself to the solitude and loneliness of the peak.

Whatever Ash was thinking, he must've wanted out. He told Pikachu to use Volt Tackle. Usually, the move would've worked like a charm against anyone, giving him an easy knockout with Pikachu taking virtually no damage.

But today, his heart wasn't in it, and he reacted a split second too late.

The trainer called out the feared move Earthquake, and while Pikachu charged his electricity, a large part of the ground flew towards him like a tidal wave.

Ash told him to call off the move and dodge, but it was too late.

Pikachu was hit by the move, and it was fatal. He went down.

The trainer whooped and cheered, but while he celebrated his victory over the legendary trainer residing at the peak, Ash felt nothing but peace.

He let himself fall backwards over the cliff a step behind him just as a gust of wind blew a blanket of snow in front of him.

He felt nothing as he fell.

_May, _he thought, _please forgive me._

And he felt his world plunge into sweet, peaceful, blackness.


End file.
